Each time I’m faced with difficulty or the same old stuck emotions that I’ve tried to ascend from, I start to think I’ll never make it through. I start to doubt myself and my progress, and I might become apathetic. Or I might become fervently outraged at the spiritual awakening process. Become frustrated with the “thing” that’s supposed to improve my understanding of what the hell we are doing here. Becuase when I feel stuck in the same old bullshit, I just end up confusing myself. During these times I want to turn my back to the process, the path, this journey. But truth is, once you get a glimpse of this perspective you can never go back. And each time I go through a phase like that, I come out clearer. I learn more in my journey, which I started to doubt could even happen. And this is the process of ego death, of stepping into myself as a spiritual adult. This is the ebb and flow of a profound healing engagement. I have made a vow in a sense, to follow this through to the end, to not turn back and attempt to shut off all lines to higher consciousness. Every time this resistance and fight occurs, I emerge even more loving and bright. I know myself even deeper and understand others even more. The Universe and this life start to make sense, and I surrender my false sense of control. I relinquish my frustrations and anger and resentments to bring forth as much positive energy as I can soak in.
I emerge an even more beautiful and pure version of myself.